


feelings - they're dangerous temptations

by alternate_me



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s10e02 Reichenbach, F/M, Feelings, Gen, Heaven, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Implied Castiel/Hannah, Jealousy (kind of), M/M, Manipulation, Metatron Being a Dick, POV Hannah, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 09:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4955593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternate_me/pseuds/alternate_me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[It takes place in early season 10] Castiel is running out of grace, and Hannah doesn't know what else to do. She's been trying really hard to help him - although she herself can't quite explain why -, but Cas refuses to take care of himself while he's not done with helping the Whinchesters- which makes Hannah really angry. So, as an ultimate resource, she decides to interrogate Matatron in order to find out where he's hidden Cas's grace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	feelings - they're dangerous temptations

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this story last year after I'd watched episode 10x02 and I hadn't posted it yet because, well, it has Hannah and Metatron in it, and I thought that maybe people wouldn't like to read it. But, whatever, I've read it again and I realized I like it a lot, so.
> 
> I basically write too kinds of fics (which are neither AU's nor crossovers): the ones that I want to happen, and, ironically, the ones that I _don't_ want to happen (yeah, I don't know why I do that either). Anyway, in the begging of Hannah's development, I thought she would betray Cas for something like this, and I'm really glad it didn't happen (I actually liked what they did to her, at least she wasn't killed).
> 
> Although, I kind of would like to see an "evil" Hannah, I think it would be interesting. And, analyzing it more carefully, Hannah doing such a thing is perfectly reasonable, if you consider she sees Cas almost dying to save one human when she doesn't properly _love_ humanity herself (she kind of goes through the same process as Cas did in s4, but, in his situation, I guess it was better explored).

The dungeon was dimly lit. It had got quite darker once they had finished rebuilding everything. The air was cold and moist; now and then, airflow would howl in the corridor, apparently coming from nowhere. It was a very long corridor - it almost looked like the cells kept going on forever. However, only one of them was occupied at the moment, and there was a chair next to it, yet out of reach of the prisoner. A shadow was sat on it, moving back and forward quietly, hands fiddling on their lap.

“Why are you here?” a hideous voice came from the cell.

She felt extreme repulse, her face twisted.

“You know what? Don’t bother, I _know_ why you’re here” Metatron said. 

He got up and looked into the shadows right at her. Hannah could feel his eyes over her, and, even knowing it was too dark for him to actually see anything, it bothered her.

She stood and walked into the dim light, her black hair opaque under it, her blue eyes like two arrows, ready to fire. Her mouth was a straight line, her features, strict. As Metatron looked at her, he smiled, his eyes skimming the dark circles below her eyes, the tiredness behind all that severity.

“He’s worst, isn’t he?” he asked.

Hannah looked at the floor and then up again. One could see the affirmative answer on her worried eyes.

“You know there’s only one way I’ll accept telling you where his grace is, don’t you?” he approached the bars, straightening his back and staring at Hannah, pursuing his lips.

Hannah turned her face because of the proximity between them, disgust spread all over her face. Metatron smiled at her disdain, his teeth glistering under the light, his eyes suddenly into darkness as the shadows moved on his face.

“You’re not so aggressive today, are you? Accusing me, hurting my feelings? Well, I guess it’s because you _know_ I’m the only one who can help him, and you’d do anything for it to happen, wouldn’t you?”

Hannah’s hand closed into a fist and she stepped forward, getting really close to the bars, raising her face to Metatron, staring into his eyes. Her gaze was furious as if she couldn’t stand it anymore. It looked like she was on the edge of breaking down, but she stood.

“I _won’t_ let you go, Metatron, if that’s what you’re thinking” she said, her voice still firm.

“Oh, come on, you know he can’t live forever on stolen graces. At least not _him_ , not the righty Castiel, with the puppy eyes and all that loyalty” he scoffed “The heroic and strong Castiel, the one everyone likes so much, _especially_ you”

Hannah put her hands through bars and grabbed him by the strait jacket.

“I _won’t_ set you free” she said.

Metatron tried to pull away, but Hannah held him there.

“How many graces has he taken so far? Uh?” 

He tilted his head, the smile getting wider, moving forward and leaning against the bars, pressing her wrist against them. Hannah tried to pull her hand away, but it was so fastened she couldn’t. 

“How many more do you think his conscience will allow him to take? You know sooner or later he’ll just give up” he paused “I’m his only hope”

He finally stepped back, allowing Hannah to pull her hand back, and she staggered a couple of steps back, massaging her wrist, her face suddenly shaken. She turned her back on Metatron, walking in front of the cell, trying to calm herself down, putting her thoughts in order.

“If you’re not here to accept my demands, then why are you are?”

“I’m here to make you another offer” she replied, her cold voice reverberating in the corridor.

“I’m sorry, but I’ll have to decline”

“It’s some information I thought you’d like to know” she suddenly stopped, turning her head at him, still away from the cell. 

There was some reluctance on her face as she spoke, as if she wasn’t entirely sure whether she should go on. Metatron noticed it, and a new interest appeared on his face at once.

“And what would that be about?”

Hannah faced him from the shadows. The answer took a while.

“Dean Winchester”

For the first time since Hannah had entered the dungeons, Metatron’s face showed surprise. His mouth opened and he stepped back, a sudden doubt on his eyes.

“I killed him” he said, as if reassuring himself of that “I killed the little prat. Stuck an angel blade right through his chest. He’s _dead_ ” his voice got gradually slower, his eyes incisive over Hannah’s. 

“He’s alive” she replied, the words jumping out of her mouth all at once, as if she didn’t have the courage to say it in any other way.

Metatron stopped and sat again, astonished, his eyes looking at the floor, moving fast, as if he was lost on thoughts. It was the first time he looked unstable during their conversation, and Hannah saw her chance there. She approached the cell again, gaining confidence. 

She cleared her throat and raised her head. Her eyes were cold again.

“Something to do with the Mark of Cain” she carried on and Metatron looked up, a sudden frustration on his eyes “I can tell you more about it, I can even give you constant information on him, if you want it, you just have to tell me where Castiel’s grace is”

She had thought about it, she had considered it quietly for months, she had put things into perspective. Cas had told her not to divert from priorities, and, in that moment, Cas’s safety was hers. Then why did it felt wrong as the words left her mouth? Why did betraying a human she had no relation to make her feel so bad? Maybe it was because she noticed how Cas cared so much about him, she thought. A sudden anger started burning in her chest. _Why_ did he care so much?

Metatron looked down again, and his shoulders started shaking. For one second, Hannah thought she might have won, but then, as he raised his head again, she saw he was giggling. It soon became a laugh that reverberated on the prison walls. He looked back at her, his eyes malicious and sarcastic.

“The Winchesters have already caused me too much trouble. I can’t give myself the luxury of caring about them _right now_. Because, you know, knowing about their thrilling adventures won’t make me leave this _stinky place_ ” his voice gradually became a yell, his eyes were wide like a mad man’s. 

Hannah’s face became grave again, the cold sensation of disappointment running through her body. She tried to detect some lie on his voice, but she found none.

“But, wow” he said, standing and spinning his body contained in the strait jacket “You must be _really_ desperate to offer me Dean Winchester. Does Castiel know you’re doing this?”

Her mouth curled up in anger, and then she licked her lips, containing herself. Metatron just nodded, smiling at her silence. It was obvious Castiel didn’t know a thing.

“You know, I just can’t figure it out why you still obey him and, at the same time, do things behind his back, as if you were afraid of him”

“I’m not afraid, I just don’t want him to distrust me” she said, listening to the paradox on her words and ignoring it “And I’m not _obeying_ him. I’m just not stupid to let you go”

“Oh, you’d be really surprised to what caring and _feelings_ do to people” the word _feelings_ lingered over his lips as he spoke.

Hannah frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Feelings?” she asked, her voice suddenly weaker, lower.

_Distractions_ , Castiel spoke in her mind. She pondered it for a while. When Cas had first said it, it had taken a while for her to understand he had meant _her_ feelings, and she had thought it to be absurd in the beginning. They were all human things, and she’d never thought she could actually feel them without being totally aware of that. She thought maybe there was something that warned you when you had crossed that line, when you were caring about someone too badly.

“You _do_ care about Castiel, don’t you? Oh, you poor thing” 

Metatron approached the bars, leaning on them again, and pressing his face between them. He pouted at her, and his voice sounded full of fake pity.

“You’re willing to give him everything, you’re okay with breaking the rules for him. And yet the sad truth is that if I put Dean Winchester beside you and told Castiel he could only pick one to live, he’d choose _him_ ” his smile send a thrill down her spine.

“That’s _not_ true” 

Hannah’s voice was strangled, it shook as the words left her mouth and she condemned herself for that. But she couldn’t stop it, she felt a sudden desperation inside her chest when she couldn’t convince herself Metatron was actually wrong. 

She started doubting. One moment before, she was convinced of her intentions, she had thought of them as rational; now she was suddenly afraid she could have just made a huge mistake. 

It had all been so abrupt. She’d never given much thought into it, and all of a sudden she saw her feelings there, as clear as day. Hannah felt suffocated. She remembered Cas telling her about human feels. It looked like he understood all of it so deeply. She wondered whether he had been through the same thing as she. She wondered whether it had been the same for him, whether it had hit him all of a sudden, when it was too late to step out.

Metatron carried on, looking up, as if he was trying to remember something.

“You think you know him? You’ve just been around for _one_ year, and, in this time, you’ve already seen him choosing humanity over Heaven at least once. He gave up an army - the only hope of putting me down - because he couldn’t kill _one_ human”

Cas’s words about humanity now hovered over her. His fondness of it, his apparent deep knowledge about it. And, above all, words and memories about Dean Winchester came to her. She remembered again when Cas had rejected the angels to save him, and more recently, when he had risked his own life to do so. His caring bothered her, angered her. She suddenly didn’t want to think about that anymore. She felt sick.

“How naive can you be? Do you think that was the first time he did it? He’s done that since he laid a hand on Dean in Hell”

Hannah shook her head, looking up, trying not to listen to that, trying not to believe in that. She had lost all of her control over the situation. All the things she had planned to say to make Metatron give in were now a blur on her mind.

“He rebelled against his own kind to help the Winchesters, he faced Lucifer for them, he went to Purgatory after he’d helped them killing a leviathan. Castiel even managed to break Naomi’s mind control over him, and all because he _loves_ humanity. He loves it over us, over _you_. And I don’t think you’re fully aware of it, for you trust him so blindly”

Hannah swallowed, pursuing her lips, and looked away from Metatron. An oppressing silence hovered over them. Hannah had her hand closed next to her chest in anguish. 

“I said I knew why you were here” Metatron started again after a moment, his voice slightly changed, oddly kind “Even if your motives are not clear to yourself, I can read your intentions, Hannah, and they’re not bad. Not at all” 

It sounded like a compliment, his voice was persuasive. Hannah looked at him again, her mind searching unconsciously for comfort. His eyes and words calmed her down a little, and they were dangerously inviting her to trust him.

She moved those thoughts away.

“What do you mean?” she asked in a low voice.

“You know - even unconsciously - that if you’re the one who finds Castiel’s grace, if you’re the one who saves him, who fixes him, maybe then he’ll see how important you are, and how you care about him, much more than the Winchesters have ever done” 

He had hit the main point. His words reached out for her, understanding. Maybe she was not the wrong one there, maybe Cas had become too much of a _human_ , and _his_ judgment was too compromised. He was the one who should listen to her.

“I get you, Hannah” Metatron continued in the same soft voice “You just want the best for him and he can’t see it. He’s so _blind_. The Winchesters-” he paused “ _Dean_ will make him do anything that’s good for them, but do they care about what’s good for him?”

No, they didn’t. Hannah had seen it, how Cas was so willing to help them, how he said they were his friends. They were always his priority, and yet they had made him do things that endangered his life, just for their own benefit. Cas had almost died helping to find and to cure Dean from what the Mark had done to him, even though she had tried to convince him it was insanity. If only she could make him see it.

“And when you fix him, he’ll give you the respect you deserve. He’ll stop treating you as if you knew nothing just because you see mankind for what it really is: a complete chaos” he smiled “And then he’ll come back to Heaven with you, where he was always supposed to be”

Hannah was looking at Metatron, trying not to show him she agreed with every word he’d just said. But she could feel him reading her entirely, his eyes hovering over her suddenly frightened her, for she felt the impulse of breaking him free at that very moment, of doing everything he had told her. But it wasn’t more than an impulse. After a moment of temptation, the image in front of her became again that filthy angel who couldn’t be trusted. 

But she had been shaken.

“No deal then” were her only words, said between teeth. 

Then she turned her back on him and walked down the corridor on her way out. She had wanted to show him confidence, but, at that moment, it really didn’t matter anymore, she just wanted to be away from that place.

The sound of her steps echoed alone for a few seconds, and then she heard Metatron’s voice again.

“A white hot spark indeed” his voice reverberated in the corridor.

She stopped walking. She could hear her vessel’s heart beating faster on her ears, she felt a little dizzy. A sudden guilt hit her, a voice in her mind telling her she’d done something wrong, telling her she should never have gone there.

“See you soon” Metatron shouted from his cell.

Hannah turned her head back to the exit, repeating to herself she’d forget the things he’d told her, that nothing could make her break him free.

And she walked away.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that's it, thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed it,
> 
> and, as always, feel free to write a comment below, I'd appreciate it very much :)


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